I want to go to the stars
Hell existence must be met with cosmic justice.
Where is there to go with all this? I can’t put words together correctly. It all broke, I can’t escape the prison existence. Nothing seems to end it. I just want to be me yet the society wants to crush and punish me. Socially isolate me, financially terrorize me, psychologically harm me and physically mutilate me. Every day I am reminded of it.
To the point a desire to escape is all that envelopes me.
I wanted to see the stars. I went out to see the stars. I went out hours and still could not see them. I must go further. Nothing else works. The abomination existence has no end. The auto-hatred continues its toll upon me. Only hostility everywhere I go. Only everything working against me and siding against me. I do not even seek to ask why that is so anymore, the pathological madness of the other ones has no beginning or end. They will conjure their reasoning to hate me as they so please. They will conjure their rationale as they so need to.
So I continue to seek a kind of justice that has no real bearing. A cosmic justice, free of the endless shackles put on by people who expect slavelike work from me just to not get terrorized. Who have zero love for me, zero affection, zero warmth. Even the cold 4 AM air of the Salton Sea is warmer than what I have experienced from people called family. And I may as well not exist in most cases. No one replies to me, no one even so much glances at anything I write, illustrate, produce or create. Only a cold indifference everywhere. It wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t also demand I be a wage slave perhaps. But no they want to take all your time away.
Such conditions are not acceptable and should not be recognized as acceptable. Everything is wrong. Everything is illegitimate. The only justice left is cosmic justice. And I seek it now. It is a justice I only believe I can find in a place far from here. So far. As far as possible, as distant as possible. A place where I am free from the constricting existence forced cruelly upon me.
I must go to the stars.
